Food Allergy Trauma
I just saw an interesting article from ABC News: Can You Trust Again? Post-Allergy Trauma (hat tip, Gina Clowes at Allergy Moms). I wanted to link to it, share some of my thoughts, and invite you to share yours.
I applaud author Radha Chitale for her unique perspective not often discussed in mainstream media articles about food allergies: the psychological toll that food allergies can take on the allergic child and on his/her entire family.
I thought that her quote by Jane Robinson (National Jewish Medical Center in Denver) encapsulates the pendular swing of our community. “Some parents take the attitude that their child needs to live in the real world, that an attack is going to happen, just don’t know when and where”… “Others will tie themselves in knots to make sure it never happens.” To her point, I would add that while some parents anchor themselves to these extreme positions (think guard dogs at school), others tend to bounce between these extremes with surprising and remarkable fluidity. It may seem confusing to some on the outside when parents (like me) are totally overprotective one minute and somewhat more laissez-faire the next, but so is the nature of the beast.
I also found interesting the comment by Robert Wood (Johns Hopkins Children’s Center in Baltimore) that post-attack trauma depends on three factors: personality, severity of the attack and the circumstances of the exposure. I believe that his predictors of post-attack trauma are also applicable to families worn down by years of food allergy fatigue:
Personality: Allergy parents come in all stripes: proactive, laid-back, detail oriented, dreamers. There is no one personality type that is best suited to avoiding short-term food allergy reactions and for managing food allergies over the long haul. But I imagine that some personality types have more built-in coping mechanisms than others.
Duration: How long have you been managing food allergies? Some things get easier with time and experience (reading food labels, or sending kids back to school, for example). But there is the disadvantage of feeling burned out over time.
Severity: Families of children with severe and/or frequent allergic reactions may respond differently than those who have had fewer or milder reactions. I think personality may play a larger role than severity in food allergy fatigue - as some parents/children may get more fearful (or burned out) than others over time.
I invite you to share your thoughts.
October 5th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
I think I may have a case of food allergy fatigue lately. Having to start over at a new school this year is part of it. Made me realize how comfortable I was with our previous school. I think people without food allergies can not understand the burn out that happens over time. You never get a break from food allergies.
October 6th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Thanks for your post. I really appreciate your point that parents can swing between being very protective and then very relaxed. I do that. But I’m far more on the protective side because of the severity of my child’s allergies, and the young age of my child.
October 9th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
Wow. Well I agree with both comments. YOu don’t ever get a break with food allergies–so true. And I also tend toward overly protective perhaps because of my PA son’s age. Not even old enough to read labels. No food is worth the risk, I think, no matter how pretty, tasty or tempting. Not looking forward to the whole eating lunch at school thing…
October 10th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
Food allergies are really tough. People want to be nice and offer your child a treat. It’s tough to say no every time. You just want to say yes occasionally, so then you look over the treats… but once you begin down the road, it’s then hard to back out. For instance, once you have examined the treats and said no, the nice person says, “Can’t your child have just one?” You say, “My child has an allergy.” The nice person says, “Oh, I’m sure these are okay. They are peanut free.” You say, “My child is allergic to dairy and gluten.” The nice person’s eyes glaze over. Neither they nor you know how to gracefully back up.
I’m lucky though. My child’s allergies are not life-threatening. But still, I have done the over-protective and then too lax swing… I suspect it must be almost universal, because there’s no getting away from food allergies. No time off for good behavior. Just remorseless vigilance.
October 13th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Wow! I am right in there bouncing in between with you! It is confusing to our family and friends because I am always telling them to strictly follow certain guidelines while I sometimes make exceptions. I think it is because I trust myself if there were to be a reaction more than I trust them individually. Some things, like eating vanilla ice cream packaged in a factory, do indeed pose risk—- very minute risk— but, still risk. I realize that a reaction would probably happen from the vanilla ice cream in the same likelihood as being struck by lightening, but I still worry. I can’t really explain it to anyone, but I will let my ds eat it if I am present, but not when I am not. I am sorry to ramble, but I just connected with this post that I had to leave my 2 cents
October 13th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
[…] my Food Allergy Trauma post, Pam and Jennifer B. commented that they feel the need to be more protective than lax, because of their children’s young […]