Watching My Language
Purple Mommy’s post, “You Could Die” is a stark reminder how much food allergic kids know — despite our best efforts not to say scary things in front of them.
We’re going through something similar. My daughter’s annual allergist visit is rapidly approaching. If yesterday’s RAST tests went well, we will soon be able to challenge eggs. I am torn between talking with her about the food challenge in advance (so she can be mentally prepared) and not wanting to talk it up too much (for fear of scaring her, or getting her hopes up - in the event she doesn’t pass). So, I floated a trial balloon. I told her about the possibility of doing a challenge in the context of having to get a blood test. Her immediate response … “Oh Mommy. That doesn’t sound like a very good idea at all. It’s not safe for me to eat eggs. I don’t want to try eggs. I am happy with the foods I can eat. Why do I need to try eggs?” It had never occurred to me the degree to which she has internalized the parameters that define her world, and that she would be afraid to rock the boat. So, as reassuringly as I could, I told her that we would only try eggs if her allergist (her favorite doctor in the whole world) thinks it is safe for her to do so — and that he would be right there if anything bad happened to make sure she would be OK. Wiping away tears, she said she’s lucky to have such a wonderful allergist who takes such good care of her. My sentiments exactly.
June 19th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
We had to work really hard to get the Eldest to do his first food challenge. Had he reacted to the food during that challenge, I fear that future challenges would have been next to impossible.
I think it was really simple: we taught him fear, he learned it. He held on to that fear as something that would keep him safe, and was not really interested in we silly adults trying to change the rules.
So, we talked a lot - a LOT - about the various ways that the doctor was testing to be sure that he wasn’t still allergic, before trying the challenge. The Eldest made us run through it again and again. ‘So, what if the skin test says I’m not allergic but the blood test says that I am?’ and ‘what if the blood test says that maybe I am, but doesn’t say for sure?’ Over and over.
See? He does listen. Sometimes.