Food Allergy Lessons I Have Learned
I just came across a really neat post that I thought I’d pass along, What I Wish I Knew…Food Allergy Lessons I’ve Learned.
No matter where you are on your food allergy journey — this post reminds us that some folks get it better than others: Seek out folks and environments that are supportive. It also highlights that while none of us aspire to be members of the “food allergy club” — the author has met (and you will too) a lot of extraordinary moms who will offer friendship and support along the way.
I’d like to add a couple of lessons I have learned — and encourage you to use this forum to do the same.
Food Allergies are a Moving Target Over Which You Have Limited Control.
After our daughter’s diagnosis nearly 4 years ago — we resolved ourselves to be super strict about avoiding milk and eggs (the only foods, at the time, to which she was declared allergic). In this way, we convinced ourselves, we could ensure that she would outgrow her allergies by age 3. Despite our best efforts, it didn’t work out like we’d hoped. She is still allergic to milk and eggs, and has since added peanuts, tree nuts, fish, shellfish, and sesame to the list. Because her allergies have changed — and because manufacturers change ingredients (or disclaimer labels) — there are some foods she could eat 2 years ago that we can no longer buy. (The one that still gets me is Barbara’s Bakery Snackimals Animal Cookies, which don’t necessarily contain peanuts, but are manufactured on equipment shared with peanuts, tree nuts, milk, and eggs.)
Not only can the foods and allergies change over the years — so too will your approach. As your child grows up, the way you talk to your child about food allergies will change. (I imagine this evolution in the following progression: constant vigilance over an infant/toddler who cannot understand, to setting clear rules and limits for a preschooler, to empowering a school-aged kid, to I’m not sure what for a rebellious teen. Haven’t gotten there yet.)
Other People Will Surprise You
While I am routinely baffled by the insensitivity of many — I have likewise been touched by a select few who have gone out of their way to provide a safe and happy environment for my daughter. Two examples from this year: her teacher and a classmate’s mom.
Her teacher this year was fabulous. From our initial conversation — she took me seriously in a way no one else has. She removed all potential allergens from the classroom: even ones I didn’t think of, such as acorns and a doll bed finished in a nut-based lacquer. She didn’t shy away from fun activities because of my daughter’s allergies. She found ways to make fun things safe. Over the year, this wonderful person has been more than my daughter’s teacher, she has also become my trusted friend. She is a testament to the fact that food allergy parents and teachers do not have to be adversaries.
More kindness came at an unexpected place: a birthday party. The mom of one of my daughter’s classmates went to considerable trouble to make sure that my daughter could eat everything at her daughter’s birthday party — including the cake. Everything was delicious, and I’ve never seen my daughter happier.
Your Child May Surprise You — and You Will Surprise Yourself.
Though not even 5, my daughter is mature beyond her years. And she really owns her allergies: understands them, tries to educate those around her, and is pretty good natured about the sacrifices she needs to make to stay safe. I am very proud of her. When she was diagnosed with allergies — so many things seemed overwhelming. What I thought would be most difficult has not turned out to be so hard: removing allergens from our diet, not frequenting many restaurants, and not being able to leave her with many babysitters. These circumstances have actually brought the three of us much closer. And while I am not thankful of the root cause, I am extremely thankful of the end result.