Where is A Food Reaction Most Likely?
Most parents of food allergic children have learned how to manage food allergies in the home. But what happens when your child leaves home, or when you entrust his/her care to others? Where and under whose supervision do you think an allergic reaction is most likely to occur?
- Under your supervision at a park, restaurant, or on vacation. I don’t worry so much about parks anymore. Over many years of playing at the park, we have learned some tricks. (My favorite tip: use your own picnic blanket instead of picnic tables. Or bring a vinyl tablecloth if you want to use a picnic table.) Restaurants are tough. I’ve heard some real horror stories. We stick to restaurants we’ve been to many times (and know what’s safe on the menu) - and always remind the kitchen about food allergies when ordering. For practical, smart tips to minimize the risk of food allergy reactions in restaurants, I recommend that you check out the post, “Top 8 Tips for Eating Out with Allergies” on the About.Com Food Allergy Blog. Vacations are more complicated. More on that soon. We’re headed to San Francisco in a few weeks.
- Your spouse. The post, “Do You Trust Your Husband” in the blog, Every Day With Food Allergies, had me rolling on the floor laughing. I’m sure many of us can relate. It took me a good four years to let go — but now that I do, it’s pretty great for everyone. I pack up safe food and they spend the day at the park, the baseball stadium, the bowling alley, or wherever else they want to go.
- Babysitters. In her post, “Leaving Your Food Allergic Kids With A Sitter,” ModernAllergyMom recently asked her readers how they manage to leave their kids with someone else. Given that I’ve only used one babysitter in 4 1/2 years — I’m not a good one to ask. But since my child and the sitter would be inside my house, which is allergen free, I could probably lighten up on this.
- Grandparents. Haven’t left her alone at their house either. Okay, so I have some control issues. But I don’t think I’m alone in this. Many parents of food allergic children have justified concerns about leaving food allergic children with grandparents — just ask Dr. Robert A. Wood.
- Friends. Birthday parties and playdates are opportune venues for food allergy attacks. As a parent, part of you feels the need to hover - but part of you wants to let your child be a kid. The first time my daughter was offered food at a friend’s house (when I wasn’t by her side) — she was 2 1/2. Instead of eating it, she ran to my side in tears to show me the offending tortilla chip. The second time a friend offered her food (milk chocolate candy made in a factory that processes nuts) - she had been better coached in how to respond and she had more experience dealing with her allergies at preschool. Without tears, she simply told her friend that she couldn’t eat the chocolate because she might be allergic to it. Atta girl! I still hover at birthday parties - can’t help myself.
- School. There are so many fronts for concern: Supervised activities (snacks, lunch, buses). Or those pesky unsupervised activities: peers innocently (or not so innocently) offering your child forbidden foods or exposing your child to allergens while not in the presence of adults. Some optimists feel that better education will reduce these threats. In the realm of supervised activities, I wholly agree. I am less convinced about the role of education in the unsupervised realm.
Realistically, a reaction could occur in any of these scenarios — and many others. But it gets tiresome not being able to trust anyone. And as she grows more mature and is better able to take ownership of her allergies — I imagine these fears will lessen. Perhaps others will take their place. Like sleep away camp, dating, and prom.
Any tips for handling any of the situations listed above? Anything I’ve left out? What do you fear most?
April 28th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Leaving food allergic kids with grandparents? Oh, where to start . . . .
When our FA son was four my hubby and I attended a wedding, and left his parents in charge of our kids for the evening. Everything went fine, but it was a bit touchy leading up to the event.
First off, my mother-in-law wanted a list of foods our FA child could not eat. I’d explained how he was allergic to all nuts, and that dairy and eggs posed big problems as well. But she wanted a list, so I wrote out this huge list, and mailed it to her. She got it and was horrified - “It’s so long!” I tried to break it down to simple rules (no nuts, no milk, no dairy) but this did not work either. I got phone calls like this: “I know you said no milk, but we buy Pepperidge Farm bread and it contains milk and I was wondering if that was OK. What about macaroni and cheese?” I kid you not - I had these conversations.
Finally, I got smart. I told her don’t worry, I’ll bring the food. To this day when we visit we bring food. It could be an entire prepared dinner with many courses and dessert for 10, it could be lunch or it could be snacks — but we bring it ourselves.
BTW, my m-i-l is a pharmacist. Licensed, and practicing. She has medical training! I’m still not sure whether she takes the food allergy issue seriously, but we do.
And then there is my mom, another person who doesn’t seem to take this seriously either. When we visit my folks we always have at least one meal out at a restaurant. My husband and I have to be very careful to make sure Grandma does not sit next to our FA child, as otherwise she will invariably offer him something. At some point I remember her trying to get him to try lychees. Sorry, but we are very strict about his diet, and I don’t let him eat things produced in China. They don’t have any controls on whether something has nuts . . . and what are lychees anyway? I plead ignorance even though I’ve eaten them.
Our FA child is now of age where he’d like to stay overnight with my parents. My hubby is - wisely - firmly against the idea because of my mom and our concerns about her ability to view his safety as her top concern while he is in her care. If I think about it beyond in passing it just makes me sad because it seems like one more separation point. Aren’t grandkids supposed to hang out with their grandparents periodically?
April 29th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
I don’t see how you can’t hover as a FAM (Food Allergy Mom). I just try no to be to conspicuous. Incidently my mother came and took care of my kids for a full week while we were in Spain. I got lucky in the “grandma” understanding realm. (Also my MIL was a preschool teacher and was well aware of the seriousness of food allergies before we even had kids.)