Food Allergy Bullies
Through this blog, I have expressed concern over schools and camps which discriminate against food allergic children or set policies that compromise their safety.
But recent news events raise an issue I fear even more: kids bullying food-allergic kids.
In Lexington, Ky ., an eighth-grade student is facing felony charges for allegedly sprinkling peanut butter crumbs into the lunchbox of a student whom he knew to be peanut-allergic. His case will be tried in the juvenile criminal justice system.
ABC News reported about a 14 year-old in Mastic, N.Y. who has received numerous food allergy-related threats from peers — bullies planning peanut parties at lunch to make her face blow up, bringing peanut butter sandwiches to make her leave their cafeteria table, threatening to put peanut butter on balls in gym class, opening up peanut butter cups in the back of the classroom. These are my worst nightmares! To make the situation worse — this abuse isn’t coming from strangers. It’s coming from kids she grew up with — had playdates and birthday parties with — who think her allergies are made up.
Her parents have fought back by filing a 504 plan, under which her food allergy is treated as a disability and certain safeguards are put in place to keep her safe. And if kids bully her, it’s considered a discrimination against a disability. But since these threats are verbal threats rather than physical assault, they are harder for teachers to recognize and enforce consequences.
I just don’t know how to keep my daughter safe from food allergy bullies. If I could get away with sending her to school looking like this, I just might give it a try.
April 21st, 2008 at 9:14 am
Thanks for raising this real problem faced by food allergic youth. Some schools have responded by making classrooms entirely nut free environments and insisting that children wash hands before returning from lunch back into the classroom. Even though this is tough for teachers to police, at least it makes children aware that these are indeed serious issues and sets the expectation that students cannot casually — or deliberately — ignore the health and safety concerns of their peers.
April 21st, 2008 at 7:49 pm
If my kids went to a school where students purposely tried to provoke an allergic reaction I wouldn’t file any legal action *until* I’d removed my children from that environment. There are deeper problems at such a school.
Also, this ties nicely with the “no bullying” posters I see in the Fairfax County public schools. I am not a fan of these posters because they appear to show that only white boys can be bullies. At least in the posters I’ve seen the white boy is the pictured aggressor, whereas the victims cowering in the background are of many racial groups, and mostly girls. I suppose I could ask whether the poster creator has spent time with a group of 10-year-old girls lately, but I won’t. I’m running off into the woods here.
But beyond that, our kids are subjected to “no bullying” sessions led by counselors and the truth is that this is still going on, and will likely always go on at schools. Where is the administration once things get to the point mentioned in your link? What do we pay these people to do if not monitor our children’s safety? How is it possible that this ever occurred? What about the teachers? I don’t care if they are not in the cafeteria at lunch. Are they that ignorant that they don’t know what is happening to this student?
Overall, though, I’ve had pretty good success with having my son’s health concerns (nut allergies) recognized as serious. The one breach occurred in kindergarten, when we was fed a piece of cake a teacher made at home without –and against explicitly– my permission. Thankfully he was fine, but this happened *after* a meeting with the teacher which was supposed to work his safety into her class routine. We talked about how he is not to be offered food brought in from anywhere other than his own home. I had another meeting after the cake incident, at which point I made the teacher cry. Really. I needed to get the truth across to her.
My advice to all parents is to NOT be afraid of being accommodated, and to take a “this is how it’s going to be” approach. Be polite, be reasonable, but be firm. Also train your child to never accept food made at someone else’s home (there will be a few exceptions to this, but your child should know who is “safe”).
April 23rd, 2008 at 7:32 am
Yep, I’ve heard about this. There’s peer pressure, which makes the FA kid feel left out and odd, and then there’s bullying. You can prep your kid pretty well for peer pressure, but bullying? That scares me, since we’re not just talking about one kid socking another (not that I’m a huge fan of that, either, but the stakes are higher with FAs). But bullying is bullying - we FA parents just have a higher incentive to keep an eye out for it, but schools should deal with bullying because it’s not okay. Not just because they could end up with nasty liability cases if the bully goes for the FA kid. FA kids, rather.
When we went looking for schools for the Eldest - we’re spoiled for choice here in the Boston area - I really looked at the kids. I wanted to see a sense of community, of mutual respect, all that good stuff. Because even in the best schools, bullies turn up (or so I assume). And I have this feeling that the kids’ response to the bully is as crucial as the administration’s.
April 28th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
I’m glad I found this topic here. I have a 2 1/2 year old with dairy allergy (milk protein) I have these images of bullying, peer pressure or just plain rebellion or curiosity. She doesn’t have a visible allergic reaction. She has ulcerative colitis. I’m sure she’s not going to be announcing to her classmates that if she has dairy products she might start having blood in her BM. What kid wouldn’t offer her ice cream, candy or pudding or milk innocently? Will I teach her not to eat those things? Of course. But will she anyway? Especially if she doesn’t have another flare up while she is on her medicine and never sees what dairy can do to her. It’s almost like an invisible illness.
Personally, I don’t trust that teachers are going to watch everything she is offered by other students. I don’t trust that other students will take it seriously or not try purposely to “see what happens” I remember what kids were like. They don’t understand consequences, especially with health unless they or a family member have an issue. What can I do?? Just like Rachel, I believe that very thing may happen to her one day. A teacher who forgot or who didn’t make it a priority to be certain first about something offered either by her or others…EVEN after she was infomed.
I feel as though I’m going to be hovering a LOT. I considered possibly requesting a class meeting when she starts school, so that any parents can talk to the classmates and other parents about their children and the health concerns from asthma to diabetes to FA or anything else. BUT… doesn’t that peg those students so that everyone now knows and they might be targeted? I don’t know. I’ve had conversations with her grandparents and even they ask me things like “she can just have a little of this and it’s okay, right?” Very frustrating. Very hard to get through to some people.
I’d love to know what thoughts you all have who already have children in school. I know I will teach my daughter the best I can not to accept unknown food. It’s the people around her I have difficulty trusting.